it’s taking me a long time to be okay with an element of grayness in my existential understanding, in my faith, in my daily interactions, in my everything.

it’s a constant struggle - a back & forth, give & take, win some & lose some kind of ordeal.

and i’ve found that accepting that anomaly means having a certain level of vulnerability - enough to be content in not knowing all the answers. this also means that i recognize that there is no way i can walk through this world on my own. that i need to let people really see me, and that i need to really see people. until we really see that people have faces & stories & cracks & broken parts that are all their own - yet simultaneously in the same vein as every other person’s - we cannot step into what it really means to be human.

i am built for connection.

and so are you. and so is she. and so is he.

vulnerability means not trying to make the uncertainties certain.

it means crawling into the gray matter. sitting in the rawness. stewing in the mess.

and it is there - in that gray mess of things - that i find the richest life. 

What good is it to love 

When our hearts have turned stone cold

We’ll only hurt each other more 

Each day that we grow old 

“But love anyway”, you say

For what more is there to do

Than to love each other with our 

Failing, fragmented parts

Until our bodies are through